"HELP ME STOP THIS UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH MY STEPSON"
Please help me
because I feel as though the only answer is to kill
myself. I looked on this website and tried to find the
courage to contact one of the counsellors but I am just
too ashamed. I have thought about suicide recently but I
saw this problem page and it was like a last chance to
sort my head out.
I am in my
forties and my husband and I moved to France after he
retired at the beginning of last year. We have a
wonderful home and a caravan and enough money. My
husband's son, who is in his twenties came out with us
as he couldn't get a job in the UK and we all get on
well. We don't have any children of our own and I didn't
have any with my first husband as he was infertile. The
problem started because I have a very high sex drive and
my partner has lost all interest in sex since we came to
France. I love him but I am going a bit crazy without
sex in my life.
The thing I am
so ashamed of is that I have started watching my stepson
through a gap in his bedroom wall from the barn. It
started by accident because I was in the barn fetching
some cloths and I noticed that there was light coming
from the gap. When I looked through, he was masturbating
and although it gave me a shock, it was almost
impossible not to watch and masturbate myself. Now it
has become an obsession and I can't stop. As soon as my
husband is asleep, I go down and sit by the gap and
watch until the light finally goes off. I have seen him
doing so much and I have been so tempted to go into his
bedroom while he's masturbating, it's only a huge force
of will that stops me.
I feel I have to
leave my husband or end my life because I am starting to
fantasise about having sex with my stepson and that
would be terrible. He is quite an innocent boy and it
would kill my husband. I know you will tell me to get
help but where can I go where they won't arrest me or be
totally disgusted. Please help me.
ANSWERS
AUDIO for partially sighted |